On a snowy November day, my daughter Kit and I were dividing four boxes of tree ornaments between us. Kit, now living on her own, wanted to set up her own Christmas tree. Unpacking the decorations brought back memories of loss and grief for children who were no longer with us during the holidays.
Over the span of eight years, our family grew and shrank with the presence of 23 foster children. Most stays were temporary, and during our fostering journey, our two children became part of our family through adoption. To my surprise, Kit remembered the stories behind each homemade ornament, even for those crafted by individuals she never met. Her recollections of holiday experiences differed greatly from mine.
As I opened a box, a tree topper from our first Christmas as newlyweds caught my eye. The iridescent angel, held together by Krazy Glue due to a crack, symbolized both the bond and the breakdown of my marriage. I handed the angel to Kit, uncertain if she would want it in its fragile state. Her eyes sparkled under her festive reindeer hat as she eagerly accepted it.
“Mom, do you remember how I always wanted to be the one to place the angel on top of the tree? I thought I would never reach it.” We shared a laugh. “You’ve grown enough now, haven’t you?” And so, the angel found a new home with Kit.
Opening another tin, I discovered a Santa sleigh and reindeer ornament. Crafted by an eight-year-old boy we once fostered, this creation made at a community Christmas party tugged at my heart. Despite the emotional turmoil surrounding his departure from our lives, we hoped he knew the depth of our love for him.
Sensing my shift in mood, Kit took the Santa decoration from me. She reminisced about how I always placed it low on the tree so she could play with it, admiring the flames shooting out from the back of the sleigh, reminiscent of a movie scene.
Our family strived to make the holiday season inclusive for our foster children. By adjusting our Christmas dinner dates to accommodate their family visits, we ensured they felt connected and valued. Creating a tradition of gifting unique ornaments to each child allowed them to personalize their holiday experience.
Retrieving a reindeer ornament made of pompoms, googly eyes, and pipe cleaners, I recalled my son’s playful nickname for the matching set. Dividing ornaments during the end of my marriage years ago was not new to me, yet the sentimental value remained strong.
Kit’s poignant reflections during our ornament unpacking highlighted the resilience and lessons learned from challenging times. As we prepare to decorate the tree this year, I am filled with anticipation, knowing that Kit’s joyful spirit will bring a new light to our holiday traditions.